Checking on the blog’s last post was back in June and yeah, its the final day of September and 10 minutes before it turned to October. I have decided to post it here on this blog (what I am about to post) because I don’t think anyone is still reading blogs nowadays and it would be safer to have it all spilled out here since there is a very low chance of people coming to it and read this. Well, if you are reading it now then perhaps you might want to let me know what date did you found this post. Do leave some comment on this post.
A little not so famous announcement here, I can finally call myself an official scholarship holder for my masters degree under the sponsor of our ministry of education, famously known as Hadiah Latihan Persekutuan (HLP). It was a challenging journey to apply to it and going through all the selection process but I now dare say, the process after getting the result as one of the successful applicant is even more challenging.
Writing this post on September 30, midnight, it means that I have about 16 days before my first day of lecture in the University of Malaya. I am still a high school teacher at this time of writing this post but I will be having another week as my final week in this current school that I am teaching at. I have my days countdown drafted on an A4 paper and next week 3rd to 7th of October would be my final week in this current school of Sebauh before I make my way to Kuching and getting everything ready for a few days, then fly to the peninsular for a brand new life chapter.
Most pople would say that I am surely on my highest point of feeling happy that I could finally leave the school and the work and go run for my dream, BUT that is not the case. It really is a mixed feeling. I would not say that I am not happy, I am happy to be given the chance to finally pursue my study in the masters degree level but at the same time I am quite sad to think of leaving everything that I worked hard for in the past 7 years. And of course I won’t deny that I am feeling nervous because its a coming out of a comfort zone kind of thing that I am doing here.
I can’t control what people think of me or said about me, but one thing for sure I am so done with bother too much of other people who meant very little to me. I actually learned a lot from this. I learned that, not everyone will be genuinely happy for your success and blessings, and for sure not all who admires and adores you will say it out loud to you.
Whatever that is, I kind of have no choice now but I am creating the choices out of this whole thing. I choose to live in the moment, knowing that I will have my final 5 days in school next week, I must try my best to spend it in the best way I could. It is going to be a super busy week but I know, instead of looking at it as a torture of my very limited time, I will take it as my kind of final week to live a life as a high school teacher before I can call it off for about 2 years to pursue my study.
No one knows what is bound to happen next, what will I experience in that 2 years of my masters degree journey but one thing for sure, I am relieved enough to have someone to tell me this “its only 2 years and that shouldn’t take long”. I am even more honoured and feeling appreciated when someone even told me this “come back after you completed your masters.”
For others, those words might sounds normal and maybe the one who said it just wanted to say something kind but for me, being me, someone who often felt less appreciated, overused for my talents and skills and taken for granted for treating people overly kind; those are one of the most beautiful things that someone has ever said to me especially now that I am in the state of questioning everything and doubting myself. Thank you so much for the kind words.
I hope that I will be writing more once I am back to the state of being a university student because I remembered the first time I wrote something in this blog was a few months before I entered the university for my bachelor degree back in 2010. I posted quite a lot back then because blogging is a way for me to express something I think no one is interested to know or listen to and of course because I guess I write better than when I am saying it out loud. I can be easily misunderstood by my words and intonation. Thus, writing makes it way easier for me.
A short wrap up of this week (2nd final week in school), it was a super busy week with so much things going on and of course lack of sleep along the way. Fortunately, I get to enjoy the busy-ness of being a school teacher with our Language Month competition, organising stuff, chasing after the deadlines and numbers of meetings and PLC’s, juggling with feelings over my transition of moving out for the masters degree. There are so many to be listed all here.
So, with this post, I would just post what I did for this week.
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| Me and 5D class |
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| Coaching and Mentoring with our SISC+ and the newest member of our English Language Panel |
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| Handling the Creative Writing Competition in the afternoon on Thursday |
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| Our English Language Panel Meeting - perhaps the final one of me being their Head of Eng. Lang. Panel |
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| Having lunch with our COS teacher who were posted about 2 months ago |
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| The famous laksa in this small town - I’m going to miss this |
That’s it for my 2nd final week in this school and this town. I need to have another post for the final week in school next week. I know I am going to miss it for sure and I am feeling sad even at this moment, writing this blog entry.
Keeping it all here for me to go back once a while and see how has it been here.
Too many things to do, too little time given.
Thanks for reading.
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